I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
