Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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