I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
