Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
