where am i from again
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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