Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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