Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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