is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
