I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
