erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize