I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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