Do you still have your period?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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