WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
