I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
