why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
