yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize