and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
