She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
