There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just want nice things and good sex
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
