Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
