i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
