youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
