your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
