We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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