I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
