I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
