so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
