soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize