He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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