Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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