seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
