This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
