I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
