i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
