I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
