Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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