At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
