My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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