is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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