Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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