apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
cat food counts as protein by the way
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
