so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
