I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
