is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
