Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
