Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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