you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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