I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I love you.
Bad choice
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