What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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