I think I died a long time ago.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
