just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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