Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
