clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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