she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and she was petting her beer can
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
