Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
