I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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