Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
