I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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